Monday, January 17, 2011

Là-Bas (Over There)

"Là-bas" is a song written and sung by a very well-known French artist Jean-Jacques Goldman. In this song he sings of how torn he is in his life, how he struggles to stay in a land that he knows well, but a land that he knows will never bring him happiness. This is actually a duet and the female singer is a British-born artist named Sirima. She sings the part of Goldman's wife or significant other, who does not want him to leave her. It is a very touching song, and I encourage you all to watch the movie on Youtube.

So why did this have such a large impact on me personally? Perhaps it is because I recently came back from France, perhaps it is because the first person that I loved enough to say that I loved them was in France, perhaps it is the fact that I currently do not know what I am to do with my life. I don't know why I can relate to this song, I love the United States, and though I could live in France, I don't see myself moving there anytime soon to follow my dreams. In the song, Sirima warns that "là-bas" (over there) there will be storms, and tempests, and things that will be hard to face. Later Goldman agrees with her, yet counters, "je te perdrai si j'irai là-bas...je me perds si je reste là" (I will lose you if I go over there, I am losing myself if I stay here).

Life is not what I thought it would be, and my plans are not working out as I had, well, planned. I am a stronger person because of this trial, one who has learned that I need to as the Tahitians would say, "haatane" (man up), grit my teeth, pray harder and move onward. Perhaps I will need to abandon what I know, to get to where I don't know, but perhaps in all of this, this is what I am supposed to do. Perhaps life doesn't work out for a good reason. I am just looking for that reason.


Jean Jacques Goldman - Là-Bas
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Sunday, March 28, 2010

Dear Past, Please Come Back.

Dear Truth Seeker,

I have had the time of my life this past year, really I believe that we all have. I don't know what it is that pushes man forward. I wondered this as I drove around Salt Lake City this past weekend. I love Salt Lake City, and would love to live and raise my family here, but we are at a challenging point in our nation's history. Why do I watch a film made in the 1980s and long to have lived at that time? What causes me to almost cry when I see the life people led about 20-30 years ago? It certainly was not entirely due to the fact that President Bill Clinton was president at the time (much to the dismay of my liberal friends). I don't think that had anything to do with the situation, really, or at least how I feel now. Tales of economic prosperity, of people working and serving beyond what they needed to do for their neighbors and their community is what I want. Images of Americans working hard side by side, regardless of political party is what I really want. When people are made fun of or ostracized because they are Republicans or Democrats, but that we were working on the same team is what I really want. I want unity, I want peace, and comfort. I want prosperity, I want personal freedoms where I can do whatever I want with my money, and that I am not forced to pay for fat Americans, lazy Americans, smoking Americans, promiscuous Americans, idiotic Americans, selfish Americans and any other breed of Americans who find me as their way out of perfectly miserable and horrible life.

Not to be mistaken by what I have just written, let me explain. Looking at the lives of early Americans, looking at the great paintings of western landscapes, it takes me back to a period of time where being American was just more than one's nationality, but rather a way of life. What has happened to the America that presidents like Jefferson, Lincoln, and even Roosevelt knew? What happened to the push to work harder and be better than we were in generations past? Looking back at the pictures of my parents, I could see a difference, a difference that made me scared. Finally, the words of my professor, Dr. Earl Fry sunk deeper into my mind. He once cited a statistic: That this will be the first time when the parents of a generation will actually be more afraid of their children's future, more than the past that they have gone through. What is happening? It pains me to see my generation wrapped up in themselves, and not the American flag. It pains myself to see that we are more apt as a generation to vote for American Idol than we are our own president, congressmen, governors, and state representatives combined. It pains me to see that more people of my generation would rather watch MTV than ABC, CBS, NBC, CNN or FOX. What is happening? I fear no more for this country than I fear for the decisions and priorities of this, my very own generation.

Am I snobbish? Am I smug? Am I rude for thinking this way? Are others rude for flipping me the bird because I am out at 5:00 a.m. traffic at a campaign rally, or up until 2:00 a.m. placing campaign signs out around my state on my own money? Am I inconsiderate? Are others ignorant for thinking that I can do this by myself? What will it take? I guess once all of the Play Stations and Rock Band players of the world will finally realize their follies, it will be too late, but yet I remain optimistic. Sometimes I get lulled to a apathetic state of complacency, though I don't know why. I try to waken myself, and others, but still find myself wanting the past. Where are you? Why cannot we find the strength to fight again? Why can't we continue to fight? Why have we surrendered to our own laziness? What can we do? What should we do? I find myself asking, even arguing with myself and others. I love this country, but please past come back. We miss you, we need you. Please.

Until next time.

Friday, March 12, 2010

A Changing World, Changing Experiences, Constant Solutions

Dear Truth Seeker,

Such a long time has separated me from my last posting; life has been the cause, the reason for this delay - sorry. Life is hard, life is stressful, and I often find myself caught up in the problems that are around me, after all I am only human. Tests, trials, friends, enemies, clubs, callings, and my own arrogance and procrastination are what separates me from peace of mind and genuine happiness.

Wow, as if what I just wrote above makes sense!? What is it? What is that drives us? What is it about life, that makes it so difficult? With all of the improvements in health care, sanitation, technology, e-mail, blogging, cable news, network news, what?! Why do we continually feel repressed, as if we are constantly wanting more. Lately I have found myself wondering aloud and in my mind, "if only I could pause the world for five hours, surely I could manage my life." I will come out and say it, I have watched not just the original, but the new version of the famed romance, "Sabrina," and in there the rich brother to David, Linal, makes a comment about the benefit of taking a helicopter, and plane - it saves time. To which Sabrina, asks, "what are you doing with all of that time?" to which Linal replies, "saving it up." What good is a computer, if it takes an additional two hours out of our day? What benefits can we take from e-mail, if we now are addicted to it? Life is full of compromises, and I have yet to find the proper one. Do I study for this test, or focus on the LSAT? How many times is too much in terms of checking my Facebook account each day? Two? Five? Ten? What about priorities? Heck! What are my priorities?! Do I even have goals? I'd like to think that I do. Frustrations with everyday problems are all around you and me; with change comes new experiences with their accompanying awkwardness, and stress. At times, this stress seems but all too overwhelming.

Recently, as president of a club here at BYU, I have realized the importance of priorities. I have struggled getting people to participate in the club let alone my officers. What do they want from me? I thought that in college, people mature, that we change from child to adult - honorable, wise, considerate, and selfless. Obviously we also risk becoming very naive, as I have been surprised by the blatant disregard many people have at BYU for each other. Me included, what have I become since the mission? A robot with the only goal of furthering what I want, and when I want it? NO. That was never the plan of my Heavenly Father. We are put on this great earth in order to accomplish something, in order to prioritize our lives, and work hard at goals we have set for ourselves. So why do students at BYU not do this? What blocks our progression? I think I know - laziness. Laziness for a BYU student is like any disease, it starts small, than gradually works it way to the brain, and after that all hell breaks loose!

To become BYU College Republican Chairman was not hard. Comparatively, I have done much harder things in my life, and to tell you the truth, I was quite excited for the experience on which I was embarking. I did not know what was in store for me, only that I was going to motivate the students at BYU to become better people, to become wise stewards and citizens of this great land. Boy, was I wrong. Five months, oodles of stress, and almost $200.00 later, BYU students and many of the officers on the BYU College Republican Executive Committee are just as apathetic for their country as they ever were. I don't understand, it never really has I guess been easy for me to understand "normal" people. In my political geek paradise, I fail to grasp the idea that not everyone cares about politics, no problem. If I didn't know that it is through politics that we affect change, and therefore the direction in which the country heads, I would myself avoid all contact with the dreadful thing. Perhaps I am too idealistic, but students do not care, no, better put, they couldn't care less about the future of this country, and it's concerning to me on many levels.

We are the future, we carry the banner (so to speak) for which this country will stand, so what will or should we do? Keep our word, be reliable, and focus on our eternal progression. To every complex problem there are simple solutions.

Until next time.

Tuesday, April 14, 2009

Dear Truth Seeker,

My time in this class, REL 325H (Doctrine and Covenants) has finally come to an end, but my entries will continue. this semester has been somewhat of a roller coaster and I have been thrown around for some high as well as low times. It has been a great semester all in all. I have really come to find out many things pertaining to the Doctrine and Covenants. What a great opportunity we have to have a prophet on the earth today. I am most grateful however for the time that I have had to discover who I am. I am a person that has many weaknesses, and I have been able to work on those this past semester especially. I really need to make better efforts to have a greater desire to be a better me, I need and can do a better job as a disciple of Jesus Christ and His prophet. I am very grateful for all the many blessings my family has also given to me. 

Recently, with all of the problems that surround us on all sides, it becomes distracting to say the least. At the most it destroys our optimism, and it works at making us problems ourselves. What can and should we do? We have to be at war! We cannot accept mediocrity. We must replace those things that surround us with good things. One way I have been able to do that is by being a better person at listening to the prophets on my ipod. What a joy it is to be able to listen to the prophet's words multiple times a year, not just at conferences times. I am very happy, and happy to be stress free. I know that this Church is true!

Tuesday, April 7, 2009

Making Decisions Between Good and Better

Dear Truth Seeker,

I have had some very interesting experiences since my last post. School is finally winding down, and I find myself already planning my summer. So far it looks like I will just be working my little hands to the bones with various jobs fortunately earning good money. I am excited at the opportunities that have presented themselves to me and in such abundance. It is surely not of my doing that I am in such a situation. I am in a hard spot, but I know that Heavenly will help me make the choice that will allow me the greatest number of possibilities. I have recently been accepted to an internship in Paris, France, but at the same time I have been also accepted to be a teaching assistant and research assistant for the fall semesters. 

The Lord has richly blessed my life with some outstanding opportunities and at times it is very hard to make wise decisions. The Holy Ghost has been instrumental and I need his help. Recently during the last General Confrerence we were all reminded of something as fundamental as the lessons that we learn in Primary. As President Thomas S. Monson taught us in the Priesthood session, tthat we should 1. Study diligently and 2. Pray fervently. I am very grateful that in a world where decisions must be made, that our Heavenly Father has given us a way to receive answers to our prayers. As we study and do the things that the Prophet asks us to do, we may be eligible ot have the Spirit with us, and in the process we will be guided towards better solutions. Even if those decisions are between things that are better and best. 

Tuesday, March 31, 2009

Standing up for the truth.

Dear Truth Seeker,

This past week has been busy to say the least. As the semester winds down, I have more and more things to do with less time. I guess that's life and I should learn to deal with it - and I am. One subject on which I would like to talk is the responsibility that we have as members of the Church to be civically engaged in the world. No matter what our personal opinions are we have the responsibility to be engaged politically and know what is going on. When I was in high school and even today, many people make fun of me, be it in jest or not about the level of my seriousness when it comes to politics. People, active members have even discouraged me from participating in my community politics because "it is below us." 

Perhaps they are right. Perhaps when everyone was making fun of Nephi, and telling him that he was wasting his time, perhaps he should never have done anything at all. Better yet, perhaps Abinidi should have never challenged the wicked King Benjamin, or even better, why didn't Samuel just abandon doing the right thing after all that wall must have been dangerous?! Ammon? What a loser?! Why did he waste his perfectly good time serving people, why? Because he loved that people. 

I swear the next time who makes fun of my life choices to pursue a career in public service, or my decisions to not party on the weekends so that I can go and do political campaigns just to find that they label my efforts as WASTE, should listen to this: I am doing this for you, and for me, and for our families. Civic duty is missing in the Church today!! We are too passive, too afraid to challenge the status quo. I can't tell you how many mothers knowingly send their kids to crumby schools, who know that things aren't going well in the school system, yet cry, whine, and complain when you ask them to help their children! It is a flat out JOKE! In the Doctrine and Covenants we can learn a good lesson that addresses this problem. They didn't stand around when the government asked them to travel miles and miles to contribute to the U.S. military. No! The Mormon Battalion had a sense of what CIVIC DUTY meant! The members of the Church similarly understood why they needed to be civically minded. My greatest fear is that we have great potential in the Church. There are many great men and women, but these people don't do anything. 

Some the world's greatest leaders have been members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. We have a lot to offer this world, and we can do better. It isn't easy, but nothing ever worth doing is. Civic Duty isn't just something that losers engage in, it is something that only concerned people do. People who care about their country.

Friday, March 20, 2009

BYU Museum of Art

Dear Truth Seeker, 

Just this past week our class had the opportunity to learn more about art. A lady from BYU's Museam of Art came to talk to us. Admittedly I wasn't interested at first to learn about art. I have always enjoyed creating my own art, but interpreting art has never been something that I thought was worth my time. Why do I say that? Well the interpretation of art is just like poetry, but worse. Art is even more subjective in its interpretation and who are we to prescribe a meaning that wasn't supposed to be? Artists have different reasons for doing what they do, and I always thought it overly presumptuous of us to dictate to an artist the real value of his/her piece of artwork. 

This was the approach that I had going into this entire discussion Tuesday afternoon, and the truth be told, I fell asleep out of sheer boredom. Gasp! right? Those who are reading and are in our D&C Class please don't judge me, but it was honestly quite boring. The only thing keeping me awake was the pizza. 

Such were my feelings heading into yesterday's museum visit. Upon arriving at the museum I felt something different. I saw the pieces of artwork about the Savior's life, his birth and even his ministry. We had a specially guided tour of the museum where discussing the pieces of artwork we were brought (or at least I was) to the realization that our professor had a reason for doing all of this. It was a very enriching experience, and one wherein I felt the Spirit strongly. I am so happy for this opportunity that we had to do this. The pieces of artwork especially the one that depicts Christ healing someone beside the pool of Bethesda caught my attention and made me feel the Spirit. It was there that I realized and developed my very own meaning of those individual pieces of artwork. I realized that I, myself was putting meaning arbitrarily to these pieces of artwork, but it too made me realize how these pieces of artwork can really speak to one's soul.

I know that Christ lives, and that through many different mediums we can all receive that testimony that He lives still today, that He died for our sins, and that through Him all things are made possible. I was reminded of the things that I need to do better, and I am dedicated to making sure those things come about in my life. Thanks Dr. H. for this awesome self-teaching opportunity, thanks to the Spirit too.